I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
