that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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