i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
sex in a hospital.. check
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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