Me. At least after what I've been through.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
