yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Duck Duck Cougar?
you would pick up someone in the library
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
