I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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