i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
