Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found your dick twin last night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
