When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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