Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
