Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize