I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just high enough for therapy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
