i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
