i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
