Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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