I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Houston, we have a blender
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
