I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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