I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
