I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Let's get the cat blown out
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
