is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
