Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize