NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize