Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
