The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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