i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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