i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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