I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
