i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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