You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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