I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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