i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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