It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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