I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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