it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
