Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
