bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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