I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
