This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I supernannyed him into submission
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
