I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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