The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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