I got chris browned last night
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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