seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
