Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
