And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
