omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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