it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
