Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
