it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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