im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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