Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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