Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
