Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
where am i from again
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
