Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Randomize