At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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