she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
