One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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