Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
